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Taking control of your life is simple but not necessarily easy. It may seem
reasonable to point out all the things that have taken control of your life
— family, work, community responsibilities and the ever nagging weight
issue. We easily say things are out of control. However, what is out of control
is often our desires to control exactly those things that we are not supposed
to control.
For instance, are you trying to control other people’s lives? Do you think
that if they would only do what you tell them to do everything would be perfect?
Are you trying to control situations that aren’t yours to control? Do you
play weekend quarterback when you gossip about how, if you were boss, you would
do things differently? Do you spend any amount of time thinking “If only
(insert name, place or situation) were different, then I would be (insert how
you think life would be). If you do, then you are trying to control people,
places and things, but not your life.
In order for you to take control of your life you must look at your life, focus
on how your choices have affected your life and how they can change your life.
Here are five steps you can take to begin your journey of focusing on yourself
and taking control of your life now.
C- Celebrate the positive choices you have made in
your life.
It is important to reflect upon the effects of past choices. Too often, people
only focus on the negative choices, rather than look at the whole picture, the
positive and negative choices. List both, but start with the positive ones.
Celebrate those choices; if you don’t who will?
H – Have a Plan
Close your eyes and dream of your life five years from now. Now open them and
write until your hands hurt. Who will you be in five years? What kind of person?
How will people describe you? What kind of career will you have? What will a
day in your life look like? Where will you live and what material things will
you have? What kinds of people will you be spending time with? What do you need
to do to get there? What steps do you need to take?
Write it all down. This is your plan. This is where you start to take control.
Without a plan you will go in haphazard directions, always feeling out of control
and never fully satisfied.
O – Open yourself to opportunities
Have you ever pointed out a clearly visible object to a friend who didn’t
see it? The same happens to us when we choose to be blind to the opportunities
in front of us. Once you have a plan, you become laser focused; you will see
opportunities you never saw before. Once you see them, you have to be willing
to go after them.
I - Investigate yourself
Being willing to go after the opportunities in front of you will depend on your
willingness to go deep within and investigate yourself. Your goal will be to
eliminate those thoughts, behaviors and beliefs that have held you back. When
people try to control other people, places and things, they are avoiding looking
at and investigating themselves. If life isn’t going the way you want it
to go, there is only one person who is responsible for that — you.
Look at your friends. Do they have goals and aspirations? Are they working
towards them? What beliefs do you have about yourself? Does the voice in your
head put yourself down? Do you call yourself names? Work on changing that voice
to a more loving and positive one. Read positive motivational books, go to a
twelve step program, join a support group, enter therapy, attend motivational
and self help seminars and programs or listen to human potential CDs. In other
words, take action.
C- Create a new you
Give yourself a makeover. You’ve seen movie stars and everyday people transform
themselves; why not transform yourself? Look through Women’s Digest and
visit the advertisers to learn how they can transform you. Go to a department
store and try on different styles. See make-up artists from different kiosks
in the stores and get a makeover. You can also hire an image consultant. Try
many different looks until you find one that fits the person you are becoming.
Don’t just stop at your dress.
Stand taller, sit straighter, improve your vocabulary and focus on your eating
habits. Take etiquette classes. A friend of mine took a modeling course. Not
to model, but to learn to walk elegantly and have a more powerful presence.
Be responsible for yourself and your image.
E- Enthusiasm will be your key
The best present you can give yourself is yourself. Be just as happy, gleeful
and excited about your journey as you were about the holidays. While the holidays
come and go, you are always here. Be enthusiastic about who you are and where
you are going. Since life is a journey, why not make it an exciting and fulfilling
one.
Your life is yours and only yours. It is your CHOICE to make it great. Be a
leader in your life by taking control of your choices. It is up to you to decide
what you think about, what you do with your life and how you act. It’s
your life; it’s your choice.