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How are you doing with your New Year’s resolutions? Now is the time we
begin to hear the negative chatter “what’s the point? I messed up.
This is too hard!” It’s time to call in the positive reinforcements.
You need your inner strength and ability to see the positive in your life right
now!
Rallying your inner strength and maintaining a positive attitude can be difficult
if you have not exercised those traits. When we go after a goal and falter we
are at our weakest. What can take over are the habits and thoughts that we have
become accustomed to over a long period of time. For most people, what takes
over is negative self talk. Once the negative self begins, your fighting spirit
disappears, leaving you defeated. It doesn’t have to be this way. Our internal
Rambo can kick in if we have prepared ourselves by exercising our positive inner
selves.
You know that you need to exercise your body to keep strong and healthy. Did
you know that you also need to exercise your mind? If you haven’t been
exercising your mind on a daily basis, you can be setting yourself up for self
defeating behavior, negative self talk and destructive actions.
People rarely learn how to exercise their minds. Children don’t take positive
mental exercise classes in school, and there aren’t any positive mental
attitude aerobics classes at your local gym; but having a positive mental attitude
is critical to a successful life. You can overcome most anything if you have
a strong positive attitude and inner self.
Have you ever complimented someone on her dress only to hear her say, “Oh
this old thing?” Being able to accept a compliment requires a confident
and positive perspective. When people downplay a compliment they are exhibiting
self consciousness and a negative attitude. People who indulge in negative self
talk believe what they are telling themselves is true. These people are usually
described as victims, negative, depressing and frustrating.
Sleeping the day away, lying on the couch watching television all day or shopping
day in and day out is letting life and your potential waste away. Usually people
fall into this rut because they don’t have direction and don’t know
what they are “supposed” to do. These people are described as wasting
their lives away, depressed and lazy.
There are people out there, and you may be one of them, that love the chaos
and melodrama of life. They like to gossip about other people’s lives,
giving advice and offering their opinions. They enjoy helping situations or
relationships by trying to direct actions and reactions. Often these people
are described as pampered princesses, drama queens or control freaks.
At one time or another, everyone has experienced the doldrums, lazy afternoons
and moments of gossip. However, if you don’t exercise positive attitudes
and brain thoughts, you can fall into a funk when you encounter these episodes.
Here are some positive brain and thought exercises that you can practice daily
to build your inner strength, positive attitude and strong self image.
1) Before you get out of bed think of three qualities about yourself that you
appreciate. You may need a couple of reminders to get yourself focused. Tape
one index card on your mirror in the bathroom, one on your sink and one on the
coffee machine. Don’t move until you have acknowledged your qualities.
2) Become observant. When you notice others experiencing problems, think how,
if you were in that situation, you would handle things. Imagine yourself taking
action. If it is hard for you to imagine yourself, imagine how a famous person
would handle it. Condoleezza Rice, Billy Crystal, Mother Teresa. Think how each
one would handle the situation.
3) As you go through your day, be conscious of your negative thought patterns
and change them. Play a game with yourself. When you find yourself thinking
in negative self talk, stop. For example, instead of saying “I’m such
an idiot,” say “I made a mistake. I’m really smart because I
learned something here” Change all of your thoughts to positive ones.
4) Go to your local library or bookstore and pick up a book of affirmations
or quotes. Look for a variety of titles. Read them three times a day.
5) Look at the people who surround you. Identify the people; describe whether
they are positive or negative. Do they always give you advice? How much expertise
do they have in that area? For instance, if you run a business, does your Dad
offer you advice without you asking? Before you accept the advice as golden,
ask yourself — did he run a business? Was he a successful businessman?
Did he make good financial and marketing choices? Remember two things ... 1.
He may be your Dad, but you are no longer a little girl and 2) Just because
he is your Dad doesn’t mean he is qualified to offer you business advice.
6) Create a plan. Your age doesn’t dictate what you can achieve. Just because
you are 25, 45, 55 or 75 doesn’t mean that you can’t change your life
or make new choices. If you want to learn how to play the piano, why not start
now? You may not be physically able to run a marathon, but you can work yourself
up to walking a half marathon. The key is to create a plan and then follow the
plan, keeping focused on positive self talk every day and every moment.
7) Frame positive quotes, affirmations and words of encouragement and put them
throughout your home and car. They will remind you of who you truly are and
whom you are becoming.
8) Attend self growth seminars, motivational talks, twelve step programs and
educational programs. There is a saying, “take what you need and leave
the rest.”
Exercising positive self talk and increasing the amount of positive information
you absorb builds up your inner strength.
When you have a strong positive outlook, opportunities and positive situations
are placed in front of you. You are confident in your abilities and are able
to help others see your strengths. When you are positive about your world your
world becomes calm, joyous and loving. You no longer need chaos and melodrama
to have a full life. You become free to be yourself.
| Circle the three answers that most reflect your attitude and actions.
Answer quickly and don’t think about your responses. 1) When you are facing a difficult time you say to yourself: a. Why does this always happen to me? b. Bring it on; I can handle anything; I always learn from a challenge. c. If only (insert name) were here. How would (s)he would handle this? I don’t know what to do. 2) You picked your purchases and are standing at the check-out counter. There is one clerk manning the cash registers, seven people in line and several other clerks talking together. What do you do? a. You wait in line for your turn. b. You ask the people in front of you and behind you to hold your place, walk over to the group of clerks and ask them to open another cash register. c. You wait on line for your turn and criticize the other clerks and manager for not opening up the other registers. 3) You put in a tremendous amount of hours at work and are praised for quality work. You are ready for a promotion and know you deserve it. You take the following action: a. You hope that your bosses tap you for an upcoming promotion. b. You set up an appointment to speak with your boss to discuss your future. You come prepared to discuss your next promotion, the opportunities you want and to seek advice about your work and future. c. You know that when your mentor moves up so will you. You are her favorite. If two or more of your answers where A: You are giving others and circumstance too much responsibility for the quality of your life. Your answers suggest that you believe others have the power to direct your life and that you have no control of your life. You may believe that if you are a “good girl,” those good things will happen to you. On the other hand, you may also believe that bad things happen to only bad people, the conclusion being that if hard times are hitting, you must be bad. If two or more of your answers where B: You are a take charge person and you know that you are responsible for your life. You know that people don’t know what you are thinking unless you tell them. You are willing to take risks to have what you need. Make sure that you are asking others for help and not doing everything by yourself. If two or more of your answers where C: You have taken the role of pampered princess and drama queen. Somewhere along the line you learned that people will take care of you, promote you and give you whatever you think you deserve. You don’t ask for what you want, but you expect it will be given to you. The pampered princess and drama queen can only take you so far. You need to evaluate how you are being perceived and how you are cutting yourself out of opportunities. You are creating chaos and drama to avoid taking responsibility for your life. |